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Guangzhou gayboy recounts the secret of their 7-year "physical marriage", the couple love before others, love after strangers


Some homosexuals choose "formal marriage" to conceal their identity and appease their parents


In the eyes of family and friends, Ah Dong and his wife, Ms. Jia, are a loving couple who hold hands while shopping, serving each other groceries during meals, and asking for warmth and comfort during conversations. But relatives and friends still do not know that these appearances are all illusions created by the couple together.


Once they leave the gaze of their relatives and friends, the A Dong couple will tear off their "husband and wife masks" and become strangers, almost never meeting on weekdays. Why is it that under a legal Marriage certificate, a marriage in name only exists for seven years. Adondo revealed his secret.


A Dong was born into a harmonious family, with both parents from the ordinary working class. Although he grew up in an ordinary family, Adon gradually realized that he was a bit different from others during adolescence.


Starting to feel 'special' in high school


When I was in high school, all the boys in the school would like beautiful girls, but I liked to look at handsome guys. "Ah Dong realized that he was" special ".


I was particularly confused about the future, thinking at that time that I was the only one in the world? "Adolescent Ah Dong, who felt pain and confusion, met many people like him at the end of 1999 and began attending gatherings. Ah Dong recalled meeting his first love at a party and embarking on a unique journey of love. I have experienced four romantic relationships. In his eyes, his love was just like ordinary people except for gender differences, but marriage became a rock in his heart.


Seven years ago, under the urging of his elderly parents, Ah Dong finally had to face the issue of marriage from a secular perspective. "In my circle, seven or eight people chose 'form marriage'." In Ah Dong's view, 'form marriage' is a form of marriage. In order to be accepted by society, he found a lesbian who appears to be married, but usually does not interfere with each other. In the end, Ah Dong also became one of them.


In order to give an explanation to outsiders, I hope to appear normal in the eyes of others, "Ah Dong explained his choice. In order to conceal his special identity and appease his parents, he met Ms. Jia through the introduction of a friend. Ms. Jia also had a fixed homosexual partner at the time and was also facing pressure from her family to marry and have children. Based on solving a common problem, the two of them had several appointments and briefly shared their emotional experiences with each other.


"Metaphysical Marriage": The Drama of Playing Ordinary Marriage


Would you like us to play this scene together? "Ah Dong asked Ms. Jia about six months after we met, and she nodded. In this way, after meeting for six months, the two reached a "cooperative" relationship.


Ah Dong introduced that during their seven years of marriage, the number of times they met was rare, mostly in occasions attended by elders. Once the drama of receiving relatives and friends was completed, the two of them would split up and go back to their respective homes. During the days when their parents stayed at home, A Dong and Ms. Jia had to sleep together in the same bed. "We sleep very apart," she said


Ah Dong's parents are in their hometown in Sichuan. Every year when they come to visit their son, it's time for the couple to act. "Just like an ordinary couple, holding hands and picking vegetables, it looks like they are in love." Accompanying their parents on the street, they take them to play around Guangzhou, until they send the two elders onto the train. The two of them can breathe a sigh of relief and tear off their "husband and wife masks.


After marriage, my wife rented a house outside, and I stayed at my own house. Before marriage, we had property notarization, and my property belonged to me. He and his wife did not interfere with each other on weekdays, and they also paid each other for gifts given to the family during holidays, basically following the principle of AA system.


Marriage without guarantee relies on character constraints


Even with such a clean and straightforward protocol based approach to getting along, there are still some troubling aspects to it. Although it has been a smooth passage of 7 years, Ah Dong also expressed concerns about the uncertain future. "My wife wants to have a child, but I don't want to." This issue has become a major crisis in their marriage. Long before getting married, the two had already agreed on issues such as property and children. However, when it comes to the issue of children, Ah Dong backed out and said that this "formal marriage" may not be feasible in the process of giving birth.


According to relevant media reports, a website specifically designed for homosexuals to choose marriage forms, "China Form Marriage Network," currently has about 390000 registered users, of which nearly 50000 have successfully found a partner. Although these couples who choose to "form marriage" can temporarily conceal themselves, issues such as shared property, whether to have offspring, and the upbringing of offspring are all the leads to the outbreak of conflicts.


Adon believes that in formal marriage, the agreements between two people are private and without legal protection. Once they become a legitimate couple, whether the previous agreements can be fulfilled depends on the character and friendship of the two people. "The Divorce demography is very high, and many people leave after giving birth to children." Ah Dong's voice was a little helpless, and he also showed an unpredictable attitude towards the future of his marriage.


Explanation of terms:


Formal marriage means that marriage has only form and no substantive content. On the surface, it is a normal family composed of a man and a woman, but in reality, both the "husband and wife" maintain physiological and personality independence. Mutual aid marriage, also known as mutual aid marriage, refers to a marriage or legal marriage procedure with another person for a certain purpose, but in reality, it is only a nominal marital status without substantive content. For example, a Gay men and a lesbian form a family, which is a form of marriage.


The majority of homosexuals in China will have this result, including gay massage therapists.--guangzhou gay massage.


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